My rule: NEVER EVER eat before surfing!

It must have been fifteen years ago that I came up with that law. Anything, and I mean ANYTHING that I eat before surfing comes back to haunt me while surfing, and it just isn't worth it, I would much rather be hungry.

I broke that rule thanksgiving day by having a chicken sandwich purchased at a gas station minimart at 4am when I got my two coffees for the drive up there. Good sandwich, nothing at all wrong with it.

I got into the water at 6:30am and an hour later (as well as the entire nine hours That I surfed), I had gut wrenching indigestion to the point where I thought it better to just throw up and get it over with. I didn't but I should have.

I attribute the discomfort of my otherwise strong constitution to the fact that when you are lying on the hard unforgiving surface of your surfboard while exerting abdominal effort continuously, the consumed goodies have pressure on them, and the gastric combo chooses the path of least resistance- up towards the back of your throat in an acidic sensation. I found the solution was to stop and sit on the board and do nothing.

Continue surfing as usual, and it isn't long before the sensation returns... all damn day long. Now I begin to wonder if that old ladies wifes tale about not swimming after eating for an hour is true.

The other ONE RULE I have about surfing is this: breathe ABOVE the water's surface ONLY. Seems obvious.

The one thing that I know I must do while surfing is maintain air passage integrity. No chewing gum in big surf in case something happens. No letting air out of my lungs until I pop up after falling/ditching. And from now on, never ever eat one god damn bite of anything before or during surfing till the wetsuit is off, it just ain't worth the discomfort or risk of drowning.

I drink anything I want-coffee, water, anything- liquids dont bother me. Absolutely no alcohol!!!

I've got nothing against pot but what the hell is wrong with those guys who smoke joints before surfing- I guess I like the wholesome natural world way too much to muck it up with mind altering drugs.

​I'll stick to my favorite drugs- ENDORPHINS!!!